I’m not a big Kate Hudson fan. She’s pretty, sure, but she’s not that funny, and her acting range is pretty shallow. I much prefer her mother, Goldie Hawn, who is incredibly funny and loveable, not afraid to make fun of herself, and presents women in a more positive light.

But I do love Ginnifer Goodwin, whom I think is adorable and quirky, and, up until this point, celebrated her round features that stood out among the vast line of Hollywood starlets who need to eat a damn sandwich. So I thought it would be fun to go see the film Something Borrowed with my sisters and cousins last week.

It turns out that the film pretty much sucked. Not only did Goodwin apparently lose weight—she was so angular! Where was her cute roundness?—for the role, she also must have lost her sense of self-worth—or, at least, her character did. Hudson’s character never had much of one to begin with—or perhaps too much of one. Who could tell?

As you might have already gleaned from the previews, the film is about two best friends who grow up sharing everything. One is giving and accommodating (Goodwin); the other wants everything her way and pretty much gets what she wants (Hudson). Is anyone else having flashbacks of Bride Wars yet?

So Hudson’s character is getting married to Goodwin’s college crush, and the latter two have an affair—on multiple occasions, mind you, not just a drunken one night stand—during the months leading up to the wedding. It turns out he had feelings for her, too, but since she didn’t act on hers, neither did he, and blah blah blah. (Boring spoilers ahead.)

Several love triangles are in the movie, and it seems like everyone is sleeping with everyone but nobody loves anyone. The main love interest continues to sleep with his fiancée after he sleeps with Goodwin’s character, which is just classy all around. Goodwin continues to moon over him even after he can’t decide whether or not to choose her or her best friend, whom both continue to lie to. She also blames herself for their lack of a relationship, when the guy could have easily turned down her best friend if he’d been so attracted to her in the first place.

See what I mean? The movie sucks.

It’s got a few female leads in the movie, but does it pass the Bechdel Test? Sort of, I guess, though most conversations are about men and who is sleeping with whom, and if “he’s ever going to love me.” Ugh.

The ending scene is perhaps one of the most repulsive. We see Goodwin hauling her guy’s dry cleaning after she finally gets him, and she passes her ex-BFF who says something caustic about having bought him the clothes. It’s nice to see that not only did their lifelong friendship crumble over a man (though there are indications that they may be on friendly terms at the last moment), but Goodwin’s relationship to him is summed up at the end by carrying his freaking dry cleaning like a good girlfriend. Yes, that’s romance for you.

Do yourself a favor and skip this boring and insulting movie. There are a few funny scenes, but they don’t make it worth it; if you want to laugh, just go see the hilarious Bridesmaids.